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Testi Berlin Irving - No One Could Do It Like My Father! (2 Apr 1909)
Testi-musica-canzoni.it > Testi lettera B > Berlin Irving > Miscellaneous - No One Could Do It Like My Father! (2 Apr 1909)[1st verse:]
 I hate to brag about my fam'ly but I must say that
 My father is the greatest man who ever wore a hat
 He always took things easy in an easy sort of way
 And when it came to taking things, just kindly let me say
 
 [1st chorus:]
 No one could do it like my father!
 Ever clever, stunning, cunning father!
 Other men might do the same
 But when it came to make a name
 No one could do it like my dad!
 
 [2nd verse:]
 At keeping servant girls, my father always was an ace!
 He had a certain way to keep the ladies in their place
 Their place was in the kitchen and his place to keep them there
 I don't know how he did it but I really must declare
 
 [2nd chorus:]
 No one could do it like my father
 Ever clever, stunning, cunning father
 Servants liked the cops, of course
 So father joined the police force
 No one could do it like my dad
 
 [3rd verse:]
 One night papa went in to see that great Salome dance
 You talk about attention, say! he gave her ev'ry glance
 He has my mother dancing now, her brain is in a whirl
 And only here last week he came home with a string of pearls
 
 [3rd chorus:]
 No one could do it like my father
 Ever clever, stunning, cunning father
 Now he always stays at home
 Mama has learned that dance Salome
 No one could do it like my dad
 
 [4th verse:]
 My mother weighs three hundred pounds but don't give it away
 She bought a brand new sheath gown and she wore it yesterday
 My father showed his dignity when mother showed her sock
 Then just to make the two ends meet he used a big padlock
 
 [4th chorus:]
 No one could do it like my father
 Ever clever, stunning, cunning father
 Neighbor Jones and his neighbor Lee
 Are hunting for my father's key
 And no one could do it like my dad
 
 [5th verse:]
 I haven't told you how my father and my mother wed
 She was an old maid, he a burglar underneath her bed
 She flashed a gun at father and said, "I must be your wife"
 My father wears a medal now for saving someone's life
 
 [5th chorus:]
 No one could do it like my father
 Ever clever, stunning, cunning father
 Mother thinks a lot of pa
 But father drinks to think of ma
 And no one could do it like my dad
 
 [6th chorus:]
 The other night when pa came home, he found to his surprise
 The iceman and my mother on the sofa making eyes
 He did not get excited, no! not one word did he say
 But when the iceman's bill came due, papa refused to pay
 
 [6th chorus:]
 No one could do it like my father
 Ever clever, stunning, cunning father
 Father proved he was no slouch
 He fooled them all when he sold the couch
 And no one could do it like my dad
 
 [7th verse:]
 When father went to school they tell me he was very bad
 They also say he had a purpose to make teacher mad
 She'd make him stay in after school and pa would ne'er refuse
 For when it came to helping teacher tie her dainty shoes:
 
 [7th chorus:]
 No one could do it like my father
 Ever clever, stunning, cunning father
 Teacher knew a thing or two
 She always wore a low cut shoe
 No one could do it like my dad
 
 [8th verse:]
 We lived right by a railway station not so far from here
 And father would make faces at the passing engineers
 They'd all throw coal at father, yes they would upon my soul
 And when the winter came around we never needed coal
 
 [8th chorus:]
 No one could do it like my father
 Ever clever, stunning, cunning father
 First he got coal one by one
 And now he sells it by the ton
 And no one could do it like my dad
 
 [9th verse:]
 Around election time my father never knows his name
 Sometimes it's Breen, or Smith, or Green, Gilhouley or McShane
 Then other times it's Harrigan, O'Connor, or O'Dell
 They ought to call him "Winchester" 'cause he repeats so well
 
 [9th chorus:]
 No one could do it like my father
 Ever clever, stunning, cunning father
 When you see him change his coat
 You know that means another vote
 And no one could do it like my dad
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